If you are the parent of an adopted child you will certainly understand what you're about to read. Unfortunately, children who are institutionalized in an orphanage or even still in foster care are terrified of what I call "not having". Not having enough to eat, not having enough babies to love, not having anyone to love them unconditionally. We have struggled with some of these issues with Grace. Even though we have had her for two years, we're just now seeing the light at the end of some of these "not having" issues. Our biggest "not having" issue was with food. When we first came home with her, Grace would hide food. Behind the toilet, the curtains, in her bed, in her toy box, in the dog's bed, it just went on and on. At the beginning of March I was cleaning her room when I stumbled onto something interesting. I can't tell you the joy that filled my heart when I realized that Grace was no longer hiding food, but she was now hiding her treasures!
Notice the stool on the floor beside her bed...
This is what I found under it! This picture was taken around March 5th. She had these pumpkins for her birthday party. On October 16th. That pumpkin had been there a long time!!
Notice the green pillow...
This is what I found inside of it! She is on a mermaid kick lately. Everything we get has to be a mermaid or mermaid related. She even wants to name her sister (who we will begin the process of adopting in August! Woo Hoo! Yea!!!) Ariel. I haven't found a way of breaking the news to her that it's just simply not going to happen! Hopefully, she will forget about that by the time we travel. She has about a year to a year and a half to forget!
Notice the curtain...
This is what I found behind it! It's the pig that Grace bought with her $5 budget she had at Wal-Mart. It actually cost $3.50.
This fear of "not having" is something that we have always dealt with. I feel like the hard work has been done in this area although I feel like it will never be completely gone for Grace. I know repair work will need to be done periodically, but I am so glad we have turned the corner!!!
1 comment:
That is so interesting! I remember when my parents adopted me my issue was if they were going to keep me. Once, we were going on a trip as a family and mama packed my suitcase and as soon as she left the room I unpacked the whole thing. I was afraid she was packing me up to go back to my foster home. You will encounter so many things as she grows older. I would probably guess her biggest stronghold will be in her innermost being, she will always feel inadequate or a little unloved(or unloveable). Don't ever take it personally, she and your new arrival will have to learn to overcome this on her own, of course with God's help. She may not vocalize it to you that way, but when she pushes you to your limit, she may well be screaming, are you going to love me through this too? I am so happy that adoption is a choice you and your husband have made. It is no doubt not the easiest path you will choose in your life, but I feel well worth it! Congratulations on your new arrival. We will be praying for her!
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